Tag: parent mental health

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Coping with Depression: A Dad’s Perspective

Being a dad is a tough job, but being a dad with depression can feel like an impossible task. Depression can make it difficult to find joy in everyday activities, to connect with your children, and to fulfill your responsibilities as a parent. However, it is possible to be a great dad even while struggling with depression. In this blog, we’ll explore some tips and strategies for managing depression as a dad.

Talk to someone

Talking to someone about your struggles with depression can be a great way to relieve stress and gain support. This could be a therapist, a support group, or even a trusted friend or family member. It’s important to choose someone who you feel comfortable talking to and who can provide you with non-judgmental support. A therapist can help you identify and change negative thought patterns, develop coping strategies, and provide you with additional resources for managing depression. A support group can offer a safe and supportive space where you can share your experiences and connect with others who are going through similar struggles.

Practice self-care

Self-care is an essential part of managing depression. It can be difficult to prioritize your own needs when you have children to take care of, but it’s important to remember that taking care of yourself will help you be a better parent. Some self-care practices that can be helpful for managing depression include:

  • Getting enough sleep: Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night.
  • Eating a healthy diet: Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains.
  • Exercising regularly: Exercise releases endorphins, which can help improve your mood.
  • Practicing relaxation techniques: Meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can all help reduce stress and promote relaxation.
  • Engaging in hobbies or activities you enjoy: Doing things you enjoy can help you feel more positive and fulfilled.

Set realistic expectations

When you’re struggling with depression, it can be difficult to maintain the same level of productivity and energy as you did before. It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and to not beat yourself up if you can’t do everything you want to do. This might mean:

  • Asking for help: Don’t be afraid to ask your partner, family members, or friends for help with tasks like childcare, household chores, or running errands.
  • Prioritizing tasks: Focus on the most important tasks and let go of the less important ones.
  • Taking breaks: It’s okay to take breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge.

Connect with your kids

Connecting with your kids can be a challenge when you’re struggling with depression, but it’s important to maintain those connections. Some ways you can connect with your kids include:

  • Setting aside one-on-one time: Try to spend some one-on-one time with each of your children each week.
  • Engaging in activities you both enjoy: Do things together that you both enjoy, such as playing board games, going on walks, or baking together.
  • Being present: Try to be fully present and engaged when you’re spending time with your kids, even if you’re not feeling your best.

Seek professional help

Depression is a treatable condition, and seeking professional help is an important step in managing it. Your doctor or therapist can provide you with a diagnosis and recommend treatment options, such as therapy or medication. It’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don’t have to struggle with depression alone, and there are resources available to help you feel better.

In conclusion, being a dad with depression is challenging, but it’s not impossible. By taking care of yourself, setting realistic expectations, connecting with your children, and seeking professional help, you can be the best dad possible. Remember that depression is a treatable condition, and that you can overcome it with the right support and resources.

Check out our list of our favorite telehealth providers here!

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Solo Saturday

Being a parent, there’s not much time that just you alone. That is exactly what I was able to achieve today. While technically not alone, I had a day away with a group of my friends, it was a day out without my kids. It was a day in which I didn’t have to keep a constant, vigilant eye out for what my band of mischievous ninjas was up to, and it was wonderful.

I got to meet up with my group of friends and head across the Mississippi to Illinois and head to a German brewery, Hofbrauhaus. For those who have been an you know the place is absolutely brilliant. A huge interior dining area fit for an Oktoberfest all of its own, but still spilling out to a vast patio, and today, an extra tent set up for a separate Fest I didn’t catch the name of. Wurst Fest maybe? Doesn’t matter. This place is huge. They have a standard bar of liquors, but the highlight (naturally) is their selection of beers. There’s a lager and a dunkel plus a rotational beer served in a .5 liter glass or a massive 1 liter stein. The food is some phenomenal German fare; I got a version of jägerschnitzel.

While the food and drinks were great, the real star of the day was being out with friends. So often, we make our kids and our spouses the priority, and neglect to take care of ourselves.

About a year ago, my wife and I went to marriage counseling. We weren’t at each other’s throats, divorce wasn’t on the line, we just weren’t at our best functioning selves. One of the first things the therapist asked about was how much time each of us had to ourselves. Like many of us, our answer was almost none. For me, my only real alone time was driving to and from work. My wife was in the same boat as me. We were spending all of our collective time watching the boys, we weren’t talking time or for ourselves.

Constantly being there with your kids sounds like good parenting, I know. But the problem is you neglect your own needs, and you’re wearing yourself out. The therapist stressed that we can’t really be there for our kids without taking time out for self care. Think of it like your car, it can’t keep running without regularly stopping to top up with fuel and occasional maintenance. So take regular time and set it aside for you, and a little less frequent, take a bigger chunk of time and get away for the day.

Keep up with your friends, schedule time each month at minimum to get out and do something not at home. Start a hobby to take a step back for yourself if not daily, then a few times a week. And try to keep healthy habits. Take up yoga, go for a walk, learn a new skill. Do something to better yourself, you’ll see your life start to come together again.

None of us are perfect machines. We all have things we need to do to keep ourselves operating the best we can. Know that you aren’t perfect, and that’s perfectly ok. But give yourself some time for you, and you’ll begin to see more of what you remember from your past.

Love you, buddy.

-Papa Bear